Remember when Issac Hayes quit South Park because they made fun of Scientology? (hint: it was only a few days ago) Well this has awoken Tom Cruise from his hyperbaric sleeping chamber. Cruise, knowing there is only room for one crazy Scientologist story on the front page, wasn’t going to let Issac keep the spotlight for long.
Comedy Central was supposed to re-air the “Trapped in the Closet” episode this week that caused Issac to quit. In a last minute move, they switched the episode. Variety is reporting that they made this switch based on threats made by Tom Cruise. That’s right folks, Tom Cruise is now (allegedly, don’t sue me Tom) controlling what you see on television. Variety claims that Cruise threatened to not promote his upcoming thriller Mission Impossible 3, which was made by the same parent company that controls Comedy Central, Viacom.
Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of South Park, responded to this situation exactly as I had hoped/expected….mocking Scientology.(The following is from this CNN.com article)
“So, Scientology, you have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun,” the pair wrote.
“Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!”
I think the solution here is obvious folks. We all should convert to Scientology and appoint Tom Cruise to head up the newly created “sensitivity police”. This way we can all be sheltered from evils such as satire. You should think this over while watching “Risky Business”. All hail Tom!
In two seemingly unrelated events, disaster has struck my corner of the black hole that is television. First, in South Park news;
Issac Hayes, voice of the character “Chef”, has decided to part ways with Parker and Stone. Hayes, who was a part of many episodes of South Park that trivialized all sorts of religions, has decided to draw the line. Surprisingly, the line was drawn when they chose to attack his “religion”, Scientology. What a douche. At least this will free up his schedule so he can make the cast of Battlefield Earth 2.
In more important news, Peter Tomarken has died in a plane crash at the age of 63. You are probably asking yourself right now, “Who the hell is Peter Tomarken?” Does this help? Tomarken was the host of TV’s Press Your Luck, quite possibly the dumbest game show ever. As stupid as it was, it was strangely addicting.
The contestant would be put in front of a board of flashing lights and alternating cash and prize amounts. The viewer would get to watch the contestant under this intense pressure trying to convince themself that they would hit the magic button on “BIG BUCKS” and not on a Whammy. If you hit a Whammy, you lost your turn, along with all your money. There was really nothing to the game, but the enjoyment of seeing the failure of others was well worth my 30 minutes of attention. And remember that big controversy that some guy figured out the pattern and was unstoppable?
Oh, I almost forgot someone died. R.I.P Whammy man. You ran out of spins. Off to host a new game up in the sky where every item is “BIG BUCKS” and all the contestants are winners.
I ran across this gem on I Hate My Cubicle. It is very well done. Click the pic to check it out. Good find IHMC!
After what seemed like a lifetime, the Sopranos are fianlly back for the 5th season on March 12th. I refuse to pay for HBO for one show, so someone needs to DVR it for me and send me some MPEGs. Or else Jen will have unwanted houseguests every sunday for a few months.
