As promised, the winner will be decided by YOU the American public. Post your vote in the comments section and try to persuade others to follow your choice! Let the trash talk begin!
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Reggie Jackson
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Name
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Janet Jackson
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“Mr. October” played in 27 World Series games.
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Known forEDGE – Reggie
Let us not forget you stellar cameo in “Baseketball”! |
Only female artist in history to score 5 back to back #1 studio albums on the Billboard Pop chart.
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2584 (and a record 2597 strike outs – take that Sosa!)
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HitsEDGE – Janet
Ahhh – the composite song title sentence has a special place in my heart. |
“Alright”, “If It Takes All Night”, “Pretty Boy”, “Go Deep” and “Nasty”.
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Reggie’s cousin is Barry Bonds, but Reggie is too old for the ‘roids scandals.
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ScandalEDGE – Janet
The phrase “wardrobe malfunction” has been added to the vocabulary of nearly every human being. |
Nipplegate. If you don’t know what I am talking about you couldn’t have figured out how to get to this website.
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“Reggie Bars” did once exist. Chocolate covered caramel and peanuts. How original.
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ProductsEDGE – Reggie
Mmmm……candy. |
Enough CD’s to stack from here to the moon. Lunchboxes, t-shirts, DVDs, you name it.
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Retired numbers in N.Y. and Oakland, 1973 League MVP, 2 time World Series MVP, and Baseball Hall of Fame inductee.
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AwardsEDGE – Janet
You are impressive Reggie, but she has Playboy Awards. |
6 Billboard Awards, 6 BMI Pop Awards, 3 NARM Awards, 2 Oscars, 2 Rolling Stone Poll Awards, 2 MTV Movie Awards, 2 Playboy Magazine Awards, 2 Ebony Magazine Awards, a Golden Globe, a MTV VMA, a Soul Train Award, a Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award, etc., etc…
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WINNER - Janet Jackson. I thought Reggie would be swept too. Hmmm. Well as many predicted we will have a family feud for the finale! Show me…Stupid!
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Alan Jackson
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Name
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Michael Jackson
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Second biggest country artist of the 1990’s.
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Known forEDGE – JackoPlaying second fiddle to Garth Brooks? I have accomplished more in my life.
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The best selling artist in pop music history.
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“Remember When”, Little Man”, “Gone Crazy”
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SongsEDGE – JackoSorry Alan, that is the best sentence I can come up with using your songs. I can see why you were Garth Brook’s bitch.
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“Give Into Me”, “In the Closet” and “Scream”.
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Nothing. Nada. Zero. Squeaky clean bastard even married his high school sweetheart.
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ScandalEDGE – JackoNot even a triple homicide on a drunken rampage in your F-150 could help you here Alan.
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Accused multiple times of child molestation and intoxicating minors with his “Jesus Juice”.
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Rockin’ the mullet and proud of it. Skynrd Rules!!!!
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HairEDGE – AlanSupercuts special gets my vote.
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From afro, to geri-curled greasy mess, one thing remains. You actually have a hairdresser.
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“Ten years ago I was driving a forklift at the Kmart warehouse and nobody was screaming at me then. I guess it’s the magic of show business.”
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QuoteEDGE – JackoIt hurts to be you? I bet it hurts even more to be one of the little boys you raped.
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“…I am one of the loneliest people on this earth. I cry sometimes, because it hurts. It does. To be honest, I guess you could say that it hurts to be me.”
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WINNER - Michael Jackson. Alan never really had a chance. His only selling point is the mullet and it shows. Can anyone defeat the Great Jacko?
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In a surprise move, 4 semi-finalists have dropped out of the race! They have stated the following reasons for their departure:
Phil – “What? I don’t get a ring for winning this crap? Forget it.”
Andrew – “I didn’t realize I would actually have to compete against the black people. I thought they had their own bracket.”
Samuel L. – “I ain’t playin’ with no Micheal Jackson! Brother likes touchin’ little boys!”
Jesse – “My contract with Satan prohibits me from carrying any other title. I have some paternity tests to take anyway.”
Alan Jackson and Reggie Jackson have steeped up to the plate to take on the heavily favored Janet and Michael. More to come as it develops.
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Rev. Jesse Jackson
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Name
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Bo Jackson
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Founder and President of Rainbow/PUSH Coalition, buddies with MLK Jr.
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Known forEDGE – Jesse
Jesse has the political clout and the staying power to still make the media listen to his blabber. |
A dual sport professional athlete, made famous by the K.C. Royals and the Oakland Raiders
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“Conscience of the Nation” and “The Great Unifier”
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NicknameEDGE – Bo
As always, If no one calls you by your real name ‘cept yo mamma, you win. |
“Bo” – His real name is Vincent Edward Jackson. “Wild boar” was shortened to “boar” and finally “Bo”. Surprised you didn’t know that.
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He went to U of I on a football scholarship.
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SportsEDGE – Bo
Bo knows sports. |
Heisman Trophy winner at Auburn, NFL Pro Bowler, and MLB All Star.
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Read “I am – Somebody” on Sesame Street in 1971.”I speak a different language
But I must be respected Protected Never rejected” |
Literary Work and QuoteEDGE – Jesse
I think Jesse is actually trying to stick up for Bo in that poem. |
“Bo Knows Bo” is hanging solid as the 1,040,434th most popular item at amazon.com!”We never had enough food. But at least I could beat on other kids and steal their lunch money and buy myself something to eat.”
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During the Clinton sex scandal, slept with a PUSH staffer to create his own sex scandal!
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ScandalEDGE – Jesse
Sorry Bo. You are yesterdays news. Everybody whose anybody has a sex scandal. |
Rumors of gambling problems and possible steroid use surrounded him until a hip injury ended his career early.
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WINNER - Jesse Jackson. I really wanted you to win Bo. Heck, I even gave you a gimmie category! But it all boils down to one thing. You are just so much of a has been there isn’t enough information about you to let you make it to round two. Bo knows disappointment.
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Andrew Jackson
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Name
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Stonewall Jackson
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President
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Highest OfficeEDGE – Andrew
Sorry Stonewall. Maybe if the south would have won you would have been in higher office. |
Confederate General
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Old Hickory
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NicknameEDGE – Stonewall
When you are more commonly known by your nickname than your real name, you win. |
Tom Fool Jackson, Old Blue Light, oh yeah….and Stonewall
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War of 1812 hero, first elected president of the Democratic party. Died of old age at 78.
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War and DeathEDGE – Stonewall
One of the greatest American military minds ever. And an amputee…that’s hot. |
West Point grad, Mexican war vet and military professor. Shot and killed by his own troops.
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We still see his ugly mug every day on our $20 bill.
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Lasting PowerEDGE – Andrew
$500 confederate is like $100 Canadian, which is like $3.50 USD. |
He was on the Confederate $500, but everyone remembers Robert E. Lee before Stonewall.
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“No one need think that the world can be ruled without blood. The civil sword shall and must be red and bloody.”
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Catch PhraseEDGE – Andrew
Violence or sobriety? Hmmmm……. |
“My experience through life has convinced me that, while moderation and temperance in all things are commendable and beneficial, abstinence from spirituous liquors is the best safeguard of morals and health.”
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WINNER - Andrew Jackson. You had me until I found out you didn’t drink Stoney. Everyone knows a good leader likes to get hammered. Take GWB for example!
Updated bracket is below. |
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Randy Jackson
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Name
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Samuel L. Jackson
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Played with Journey, Record Executive, Producer, American Idol Judge, dog.
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Known AsEDGE – Samuel L.
Friends with Steve Perry? OUCH. |
That angry black guy from Pulp Fiction, that angry black guy from Die Hard 3, that angry black guy from SWAT, that angry black guy from….
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Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, Kelly Clarkson, Clay Aiken, dog.
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FriendsEDGE – Randy
I only wish I could sit that close to Paula Abdul on a regular basis. |
The leading role white guy whom he does not identify with but bonds to out of hardship or necessity.
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Has worked on over a thousand gold and platinum albums, dog.
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AccomplishmentsEDGE – Randy
The Oscar would have done it for you. Maybe you should skip the angry black man and try the black man who overcomes adversity in a non-violent way. |
NAACP award, BAFTA award, Berlin Film Festival Silver Bear, Independent Spirit Award. Something is missing here Sammy.
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Overcame morbid obesity. Still afflicted with overdogacitis, dog.
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Afflicted WithEDGE – Samuel L.
This vote sponsored by the National Support a Crackhead Foundation. |
Admitted to 1980’s crack addiction. Join the club.
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“Yo dog, I’m just not feelin’ you dog.”
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Catch PhraseEDGE – Samuel L.
I don’t think so dog. |
“I’m a mushroom cloud layin’ motherf*cker, motherf*cker!”
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WINNER - Movies defeats music in this down to the wire battle. Sorry dog, better luck next time. Click here for an updated bracket.
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Peter Jackson
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Name
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Phil Jackson
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The now famous director of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
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Known AsEDGE – Peter
Sorry Phil. Maybe if you were Jewish we could have let that one slide. |
The buddhist coach of the L.A. Lakers
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Sean Astin, Elijah Wood, Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom…Were there any black people in Middle Earth?
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FriendsEDGE – Phil
At least these guys can get me some floor seats. |
Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Shaq…Are there any white people in the NBA?
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Do you have any idea how much money this guy must have? The second film alone made almost $1 Billion worldwide.
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AccomplishmentsEDGE – Phil
Sorry Peter, you are good and all, but there is only one man with this many NBA championships in the world. James Cameron still has your ass with Titanic. |
Lets see – he has coached his team to the NBA Champtionship series 9 times. He won every time.
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Morbid obesity – you are really really fat
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Afflicted WithEDGE – Phil
Being a fatass is not as impressive as it used to be. |
Narcolepsy – you fall asleep without control
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“New Zealand is not a small country but a large village.”
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Catch PhraseEDGE – Peter
Wow. What a couple of tools. We’ll give this one to Peter since it doesn’t matter anyway. |
“If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball.”
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WINNER - Da Coach bested the director 3-2. I would like to wish you good luck in Round 2 Phil. You will need it. You will be up against either a general or a president. Tough competition. The winner of round 2 will go on to face Michael in the semifinals.
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Some assclown (Lauman) was complaining that there hasn’t been an X vs. Y posting (see Battle of the Moore’s or Battle of the Dursts) in a while. I will show you. I bring you the 2004 Blatti.net Jackson Showdown!
Ten will play, but only one will win. The format is simple. Competitors will face off head-to-head and be judged on how they fare in a certain number of categories. The one who is judged superior in the most categories wins! Players will compete in a single elimination bracket over the next few weeks.
Good luck to all the competitors!
L.A. Lakers Coach Phil Jackson
Lord of the Rings Director Peter Jackson
President Andrew Jackson
General Stonewall Jackson
??? Michael Jackson
American Idol Judge Randy Jackson
Actor Samuel L. Jackson
Reverend Jesse Jackson
Former Athlete Bo Jackson
Entertainer Janet Jackson
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Robert Durst
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Name
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Fred Durst
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He was hiding from the media regarding the last murder he didn’t commit, when he didn’t commit another murder.
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Known AsEDGE – Robert
Oh you are in a band huh? Well people I don’t like just seem to go away… |
Asshat front man of Rap/rock group Limp Bizkit.
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God – who else could get him out of these situations?
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FriendsEDGE – Robert
Brittney Spears doesn’t return my calls either Fred. |
No one. By trying to retain even a little media spotlight, Fred has seemed to offend every single person on the face of the earth.
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The Galveston D.A.
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FoesEDGE – Fred
I hate to do it, but I have to give this one to Fred. Anyone who can get everyone to hate him has some real dedication. |
Everyone Durst has claimed to have slept with and everyone who “hates on” him. In other words…everyone.
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Hacksaw – to dismember bodies.
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Weapon of ChoiceEDGE – Robert
No explanation necessary. |
Microphone – to shout threatening lyrics about dismembering bodies.
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“I like dying better. Killed implies like I killed him. I did not kill him.”
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Catch PhraseEDGE – Fred
Fred, I think we can all identify with you for once. |
“I did it all for the nookie.”
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WINNER – I thought it would be a Robert Durst blowout, but surprisingly Fred proves to be a worthy opponent. I say we put these two together in a situation comedy. One man shuns media attention……the other seeks it out. Imagine the wacky misadventures. NBC, CBS? Does anybody hear me? C’mon……FOX? This would be better than most of your crap!
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