VH1 – Big in 03 – Behind the Awards Show

Just like every other stupid ass award show that stains the airwaves, P. Diddy (a.k.a. Sean Combs, Puff Daddy) showed up with a huge entourage.

Upon arriving, Diddy asked what award he was getting. He was shocked to find out that he was there to present an award to Ashton Kutcher, and not to receive an award himself.

After throwing a temper tantrum and refusing to go on stage unless he also received an award, VH1 conceded. Here P. Diddy, have a trophy.

If you are not getting the joke in the picture, you are a poor, underprivileged fool. Click here fool.

NOT-SO-BREAKING NEWS

A jury decided Muhammad deserves to die for his role in the sniper shootings near Washington D.C. last year. They recommended that Muhammad be put to death after being convicted of terrorism and capital murder.

On a brighter note, the jury only recommended 10 years for conspiracy, and 3 years for use of a firearm in the commission of a felony.

In case you are living in a cave, America’s “Smooth Criminal” Michael Jackson has been charged (again) with child molestation. Jackson hit list includes:

“Give in to Me” “In the Closet” and “Scream” As well as many others that do not so easily fit into a convenient comedic sentence.

The D.A. said Jackson will be charged with “lewd or lascivious contact with a child younger than 14″.

Mark Gregaros (who happens to also be defending Scott Peterson and is apparently looking for an express train to Hell) said “Michael has given me the authority to say, on his behalf, that these charges are categorically untrue.”

Sounds like yankee talk for guilty to me.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was inaugurated as the 38th chancellor of……governor of California yesterday.

His administration has estimated the state’s deficit at 25 billion dollars.. So naturally, he is immediately planning to reduce taxes by repealing the increased car tax that was initiated by Gray Davis. That will surely help your financial woes!

He is also planning to repeal a law that allows undocumented workers to obtain driver’s licences. This law passed the first time? Are we ever going to go to the root cause and reform our policies dealing with immigration and the US-Mexico border?

At least he is not throwing a big inaugural party. Back in 1999, Gov. Davis threw a big bash costing $3.7 M that featured Lionel Richie and Kenny G. Apparently Gov. Davis thought it was 1989.

Just in case you were unaware as I was…..(and I was probably better off that way)

There is such a thing as a “fly-in community”. Dancing angel greaseball soldier John Travolta “lives” (I am still going with my evidence that says he is a robot sent back in time from the future) in one just outside Orlando, Florida.

The property includes a 2.3 km (That’s French for 1.4292199999999997 miles) runway which is large enough for him to land his Boeing 707 Jumbo Jet. Notice in the picture he also has a little spot for his Gulfstream which we have nicknamed “The Grocery Getter”.

“The great thing is I can park my jets in my backyard,” Travolta says. You know what John, that is great. You know what isn’t great? Look Who’s Talking Too and Battlefield Earth.

One of these pictures is Wynona Judd’s mugshot after being arrested for drunk driving. The other is a science fiction character. You make the call.

Thanks to The Smoking Gun for all their mugshot hilarity. You have won a lifetime mebership to the prestigious Blatti.net links page

I do feel for her though. I mean 0.08 is the legal limit in most states, but Tennessee? I mean come on. Aren’t our expectations a little too high here?

Finally the Beast has been laid to rest!!!

10 years and 160,000 miles (might be more but who can tell when the digital odometer just spits out random numbers) later I finally got a new car.

All pause for a moment of silence for the police cruiser……She was a good car. She got me to and fro. We had some good times, but it was time to move on.

The new one is a 2004 Grand Prix GTP Comp G. This is the top of the line Grand Prix. It is black exterior with gray interior and gray leather. This will be my first V6 engine. To compensate for the lack of cylinders, the V6 is supercharged. It seems pretty quick so far.

I got pretty much everything on it except for the side air bags. This will definitely be my first experience with OnStar and XM radio. There are still lots of buttons to figure out.

I get my chrome exhaust put on Saturday. Once that is put on, I will take some pics to start out the photo section.

Jessica Lynch has slammed the American government? She was hurt because they made comments about the rescue operation that weren’t true?

Please. How could you have ever seen that coming? The government is in a war that much of the public is against and you are a pretty blonde girl being held captive. “They used me as a way to symbolize all this stuff,” she says. No kidding.

I mean if this happened to me I would be so mad that I just might write a book, endorse some movies, maybe even come out with my own clothing line. That will show the American government! Beat them at their own game…profit!

Today I realized that some days, there just isn’t any stupid news to report on. On those days, I will just make up my own. Starting…..now!

BREAKING NEWS

In breakthrough one on one talks with North Korea, Kim Jong Il has agreed to fully dismantle the DPRK’s nuclear program. Tensions have escalated since the 2002 accusation by the United States that the DPRK was pursuing a nuclear weapons program. Those tensions have been laid to rest.

The United States finally gave into Kim Jong Il’s request. A “KISS Rocks Pyongyang” concert and a lifetime membership in the KISS Army. When asked how he felt about the situation Bush said, “We must give in; we have finally found a war we cannot win. Give them their KISS.”

Kim Jong Il said “Ha-Ha! Stupid Americans! I never had nuclear bomb! Who going to rock and roll all night now?!?!”