So there is this 17 year old Canadian kid. His name is Mike Rowe. He has a web site; MikeRoweSoft.com. If there is one thing I know Mr. Rowe, it is don’t mess with Gates.
Gates threatened to sue the poor kid, then offered him $10 (or one zillionth of his GNP) for the site name. This is what we call “bad publicity” for Mr. Gates, and “good publicity” for Mr. Rowe. Of course it ended up that the domain was handed over to Microsoft for some computer training and an Xbox. They wanted either to “foster his interest in technology” or save the bad publicity along with millions of dollars. You decide.
Side note: No Microsoft, MikeRoweSoft, MyCroweSoft, or Mykrosoft products are used in the making of blatti.net. Take that Overlord Gates!
Everyone’s favorite 400 million dollar golf cart has finally sent a transmission back to Earth. The rover did not send any planned communication back to Earth for 2 days.
Also in Mars news, Mars Express, the European orbiter, has detected ice at the martian south pole. Scientists say that evidence of water could possibly lead to evidence of life.
A continent makes a satellite that orbits a planet. Impressive. A single country makes a robot that walks on the surface of the same planet? Nice try Frenchies.
Joan Kroc, widow of Ray Kroc, founder of the McDonalds franchise recently died, and donated much of her fortune. It was revealed last month that $200 million would go to National Public Radio.
Yesterday it was revealed that $1.5 billion dollars (more than enough to buy EVERY American citizen a McDonalds value meal) will go to the Salvation Army. Wow. She just took guy who puts the rare coins in the donation buckets at Christmas down a notch.
O Glorious Day! Johnny Kerry has won the Iowa caucuses! What does this mean you ask? Absolutely nothing! This indicates that Kerry will have the greatest support for the primaries, in which the Democrats decide which one of them will lose to Georgie W. in the presidential election.
Isn’t anyone concerned about the State of the Union address tonight? While the Democrats are putting together their multi-million dollar ads bashing Bush, he just simply takes over the airwaves to make his case. It is good to be president.
A few days ago, a Sudanese gentleman was arrested (2nd story) on a flight from Washington to London. He was arrested for involvement in an act of terrorism and suspicion of possessing ammunition.
Now I am pretty sure what I would have to do for an “involvement in an act of terrorism” charge. But am I the only one scared that you can be arrested and charged for “suspicion of possessing ammunition”? Couldn’t they just arrest anyone they wanted to with that charge? Excuse me, What I meant to say was “All hail Emperor Bush!”
You know if there is one place I would like to put my tax dollars, where would it be? Curing disease? Feeding the needy? I have two words for those options. Bo and ring. I think we should fund a plan to create a base on the moon and a manned flight to Mars. Coincidentally, that is also what President Bush would suggest.
Look out Jupiter. I predict full scale invasion by 2050. Click here for a better view of the Emperor Bush seal from the podium.
The once feared, always humorous German people have made the news this week. Check out this scam. Guy buys computer. Guy takes computer home and replaces innards with potatoes. Guy returns computer complaining that he expected computer innards, not potatoes, inside his computer (likely story buddy). Store clerk gives him a new computer.
Ahh…the perfect plan. Where did this go awry you ask? Oh yeah, the asshat brought another case back filled with potatoes and asked for his money back. Maybe I jumped on the Al Sharpton assclown bandwagon too soon.
Reverend Al Sharpton lashed out at Governor Howie Dean at the Iowa debate on Sunday for not having any Blacks or Latinos in his cabinet. Here comes the numbers.
Dean’s cabinet contains 6 members. The state of Vermont contains approximately 613,000 people. Out of these 613,000, approximately 595,000 (96.8%) are White, 3000 (0.5%) are Black, and 5500 (0.9%) are Latino.
If Dean appointed cabinet members by racial makeup of his state, out of 6 possible cabinet members, how many would be Black, how many would be Hispanic, and how many would be White?
If you answered 0.0294 Black people, 0.0538 Latino people, and 5.824 White people you are correct! To put it another way, if one of these white cabinet members had a great great great great great grandparent who was half Latino, and another had a great great great great great great great grandparent who was black, they would more than fulfill the proper percentage of those demographics.
Congratulations Al Sharpton. You have to do something pretty stupid to get the assclown of the week award. But to get it on Monday, with four more days of stupidity sure to ensue, you are a true dumbass. Here’s to you Mr. Reverend Turned Presidential Candidate Guy!
The Chicago Bulls mascot, cleverly named “Da Bull”, was busted yesterday for slangin’ the green devil. 6 ounces of marijuana and a scale were found in the trunk of his car.
“Da Bull”, or Chester Brewer as he is known to the Illinois Department of Corrections, is a former member of the Jesse White Tumblers. More proof of my theory that the tumblers are a rouge gang of drug dealers and gang members, lead by drug kingpin, <cough>, I mean Secretary of State Jesse White.
Are there any role models left?
The Ridginator has dropped the terror level down to “elevated”. This means you may cease to carry your automatic weapons at all times, but should continue to treat all brown skinned people with extreme prejudice.
I am not too sure about this whole rainbow indicator system and what it actually means. What I am sure of is that every time they change the level I will post a picture of Tom Ridge doing something stupid, with his little rainbow chart in the background.
If you want real information on being ready for a terrorist attack visit:
http://www.fema.gov/areyouready
There is my community service for the month. Five more of those and I can kiss that pesky manslaughter probation goodbye!
Oh yeah – (since no one got it yet) you have received your first Blatti dot net Assclown of the Week award! I’m sure there will be many to come. And next time I won’t simply let it fall in your lap – you will have to earn it.
Make me proud Tommy!
