The all mighty knower of all that is good for you, also known as CBS, has kicked the censorship up a notch. Last night, they bleeped the word “Jesus” as said by Janet Jackson during her interview with David Letterman.

Did someone not see this coming? If you are offended, turn the damn show off. You are not a slave to CBS or David Letterman. I like the fact that I can be offended. If I couldn’t, then why would I need choices? Nevermind. Just keep watching Trading Spaces and shopping at Wal Mart. All is well, move along.

Small children bringing guns to school just doesn’t have the punch that it used to. If you want to build up your street cred in preschool, it is all about the crack cocaine. A 4 year old brought $10,000 worth of crack to preschool on Monday. Not surprisingly, it occurred in the ass crack of the United States, Indianapolis.

One day, this kid may move on to sprinkling marijuana on his friends lasagna. But he will have to wait until he is 5. Burglary and attempted murder sure to follow!

America’s favorite dumb blondes like hurt themselves over the weekend and stuff. Britney Spears hurt her knee during a dance routine, while Paris Hilton was thrown from a horse while filming her television show.

Don’t worry, neither of them were badly injured. They will soon resume their roles turning little girls around the world into anorexic sluts.

The president of Taiwan, Chen Sui-bian, and vice president, Annete Lu, were the victims of an assassination attempt in the city of Tainan today.

They both survived and have already been released from the hospital. The top-notch Chinese security team was unable to make any arrests, or identify who fired the shots. Tensions are running high with the upcoming elections. Let’s just hope that Bush didn’t get any ideas. On second thought, lets hope Nader did get some ideas.

A 13 year old Hong Kong boy went into a violent, knife-wielding rage after his father unplugged his video game system. Did the video games cause the violence? Of course not! If his dad never would have unplugged it in the first place, they boy would have never considered harming his parents using a deadly weapon. I hope we have all learned something today. Always fear Asians when weapons are near by. They may be ninjas.

The Irish celebrate with one type of car bomb, the Iraqis with another.

28 are dead, 40 are wounded and counting. The Mount Lebanon hotel in Baghdad has been destroyed in an apparent terrorist attack.

The explosion has left a 20 foot crater in the ground, which indicates a bomb containing more than 1000 pounds of plastic explosives was used. Artillery shells and other types of explosives were likely mixed in to create more casualties at the scene.

Will it ever stop? Not likely.

Ahhh….One of my favorite “celebrity” couples is in the news again. Sometimes famous singer, always drugged up abuse victim Whitney Houston is going into drug rehab. Apparently the one-two combo of prayer and getting her ass kicked by Bobby Brown was not cutting it.

Houston, an admitted drug abuser, was most recently caught with a small amount of marijuana in 2000. Teen idol Brown is currently serving 60 days for probation violation.

Marcus Wesson of Fresno, CA may just be the sickest bastard in my limited attention span memory.

This guy may have killed his kids and their kids who are his grandkids and also his kids through good ol’ fashioned incest.

Wesson had 10 coffins lined up in the house, which were supposed to be for repairing a houseboat. Riiiiiiight. There were 9 people killed, mostly children, their bodies found intermixed in piles of clothes. Better call Johnnie Cochran.

There are two things I love about the South. One is that good ol’ souther cookin’, and the other is hillbillies. Without hillbillies, where would you be? No racial diversity on COPS, no more Jerry Springer, no more crystal meth. I’m sorry, but this is not a world in which I want to live.

This is Alice Pike. She tried to pay her tab with a novelty $1 million dollar bill. Was this at a fancy restaurant? Was she purchasing a new Porche? Oh no my friends. She tried to give it to the cashier at Wal Mart. Someone throw some chlorine in the gene pool.