The first shirt is being made, and the website and mailing list are fully functional. Below is the finalized graphic from the tshirt company. Make sure you get on the list, so I can send you coupons. Once the first batch of the dealer shirts are sold, I will have shirt #2 printed.

I am definitely going to do another “chip” shirt for shirt #2. I was thinking a “Missed Blind” chip, with some different colors. Ideas / suggestions / requests anyone?

I am trying to figure out who this is intended to fool. The person who just started using email 5 minutes ago? Ok – I can see that. But how did they get grandma’s email address so fast if she just got it?

Now you would think i took a screenshot of the email and posted it. Oh no – the above is the actual contents of the email. One GIF graphic. Now I don’t have an account at Smith Barney, but if i did, I would assume they wouldn’t send me important updates with GIF graphics. And if they did, I would find a new bank.

Heres to you identdep_op164@smithbarney.com, Mr. “Customers support service” guy!

It is a photoshop kind of day today, so I have entered another contest. Here is the original.

Looked like Gandalf to me. Here is the modified pic.

You can view the other entries and vote starting at 2:47 pm CST tomorrow here. To see some old photoshops by me, click here.

Jag has declared #4 the victor. The shirts are being made as you read this, and should be available in the next two weeks! Here is the modified design for the website.

I am currently working on the website. It is coming along nicely. The work in progress (including the finalized shirt design) is located here. I will be developing the site here, and it will go live hopefully before the shirts arrive.

I will be using a mailing list to send out coupons and information about new shirts as they are created. For now, to get on the mailing list, email me (doug@blatti.net) and reference chipshirts.com. When the shirts become available, I will email you all with a link to pick up the shirt at a discounted price. Thanks for your help everyone.

- Doug

With the popularity of poker, I have decided to sell some poker-themed t-shirts. I am looking for some help from you, the ever-loyal blatti.net reader. The first shirt will likely be a black shirt featuring a dealer button, often used in poker tournaments, on the front. It will look something like this:

On the back, will be the logo for the “company”. While screwing around, I lined up all the suit symbols and it looked like a face. I want to use this. But there are so many options! I have narrowed it down to 3 as seen below. (click here for a large version)

Place your vote in the comments section. The design with the most votes will be used! Thanks for your help, and I will notify you where and when these will be for sale. Discounts available for blatti.net readers of course.

I saw a screencap today on fark.com from one of my favorite movies, Full Metal Jacket. It inspired me to make some new thread pix (intermixed with some classic quotes). Feel free to copy and use them. If you haven’t seen this movie, go get it right now!!!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy f**king walrus-looking piece of sh*t. Get the f**k off of my obstacle. Get the f**k down off of my obstacle. Now. Move it. I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world. I will motivate you, Private Pyle, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy : Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Five-foot-nine, I didn’t know they stacked shit that high.

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman : Who said that? Who the f**k said that? Who’s the slimy little communist sh*t, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy f**king godmother said it. Out-f**king-standing. I will PT you all until you f**king die. I’ll PT you until your assh*les are sucking buttermilk.

Lots more quotes here.

Hurricane Ivan has come ashore in the Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Florida panhandle area. This is the third hurricane in recent memory, which for me, is only a couple of weeks. We all know Florida sucks, apparently Mother Nature does too, and is finally trying to do something about it. Ivan made landfall last night at about 2 a.m. ET. We just need to give the southeastern U.S. up. I mean really. What good comes out of Florida and Alabama? Let mother nature have her way with those states. We don’t want them. Of course we cant let those inbred hillbillies move up here – do you want them in your neighborhood? Anyone have a plan of what we can do with the residents?

Memos have surfaced that reference Bush’s suspension from flying during his service in the National Guard. These memos say that Bush was suspended for more than just “missing a physical” as the GOP claims. Read the details here. After you are done gasping in disbelief that you were lied to by a politician to sugarcoat his drunken, combat dodging, cocaine-fueled past, the memos just may be fake.

Apparently, some of these memos have proportional space typing and use superscripts. It is alleged that these features were not available in 1972 when the memos were made. Upon further investigation, proportional space type was available. I cannot find any evidence either way that superscript type was or was not available (If you find out, comment with a link). Could it be that these were made recently and artificially aged by recopying them over and over? Check the exclusive blatti.net evidence below.

Former president Clin-ton has survived emergency quadruple bypass surgery. He is even off his ventilator. This substantial procedure was substantially performed because “There was a substantial likelihood that he would have had a substantial heart attack,” according to Dr. Allan Schwartz.

Thank goodness. I was worried his illness would prevent him from his busy speaking schedule, book signing tours, and intern sodomy. Get back to work Willie!

The standoff at the Russian school is over. An estimated 100 children and adults found dead in the gymnasium. The standoff began Wednesday, when assumed Chechen rebels took over the school by force. Russian Special Forces decided to storm the building today, refusing to negotiate with the terrorists. Most of the rebels reportedly escaped during the takeover, others have been reported killed. Sick bastards.