I really have no idea where this inspiration came from. But it sure is creepy.

The ruling Fatah party in “Palestine” was destroyed in elections the other day. Hamas, which G-Dubbs has refused to work with, is now in power. This has lead to rioting (which by re-arranging and adding an “i”, can be made into the word “rigitoni”, which is a much more friendly word, FYI)

This is horrible news, as the Middle Eastern people have become so comfortable with the region’s stable political system, non-violent atmosphere, and weekly pancake breakfasts.

Once again, I offer my plan to give Wyoming to the chosen people. Then we won’t have any more allies over there, and GW can scratch his nuclear trigger finger!  Jeebus approves!

Chris Penn, the talented Penn brother, has bit the big one at the age of 43. He was in a bunch of movies, the most famous being the cult classic Resevoir Dogs. My guess is he went Farley style, on cheeseburger and blow speedballs.

R.I.P. Nice Guy Eddie.

It has been a long time since I put up any new links, so here you go.

New Links I have nothing to do with:

		WWTDD – What Would Tyler Durden Do? – Lots of celebrity gossip and pics here.
		Hippies Stink – Nothing here yet, but one of my favorite taglines ever. “They make soap but they don’t use it.”. One of Tim’s sites.
		Opie and Anthony – The XM Radio show I am currenly listening to. I rarely tune my radio off XM 202.
		The Bare Minimum – not more. less. One of jen’s sites.
		timfitz.net – Tim’s wordpress blog.

New Links I have something to do with:

		Windy City Poker League – “Lose your mind and all your chips at WindyCityPokerLeague.com”. I made the header logo. Click here for a big-arse version.
		The Crafty Asian – This will be Jason-san’s website when I get off my ass and get it going. I did the logo here as well. Click here for a big version.

If I don’t have your crap linked up, leave a comment.

Kobe Bryant scored 81 points last night against the Toronto Canadians. That secured his spot as the second highest scorer in NBA history behind Wilt “The Stilt” Chamberlain. Wilt also has Kobe bested in rapes, but Kobe hopes to take him out in the near future, as Wilt’s rape column had been dormant for years.

Mission: Photoshop a famous person into a play on words.

Click image for urkelicious version.

Oh well, play on words, beer. Same thing. Vote here after Mon, 23 Jan 2006 at 9:32 AM CST.

I catch SNL every once in a while. Not this week. But Tim showed me this “digital short” from the show. It’s funny. Click the pic for the video.

Most people are annoyed by it, but I am entertained. The spammers use such creative methods to bypass email filters. Where there’s a will, there’s a way I guess. There are 5 basic types of spam coming into my inbox. My guess is they come in yours too.

1.) “Enlargment” Offers – You want to enlarge something? Well there is an “all natural” pill or cream that will take care of it for you. My good friend Ken Yu recently sent me this exciting message!

“Here’s latest “Thunder” formula has been proven to add inches to the sizes while multiplying orgasms like never had before. Our products is light years ahead of our competitors which has millions of happy users.”

Not only an exciting offer, but written in perfect english!

2.) Discount Sofware BLOWOUT! – Windows XP Professional retail price is $249. But who pays retail? I can get a copy for $49 online! Sure it may not have that fancy Microsoft paint job on the cd. So what if there is no manual. The important thing is that I obtained a perfectly legal copy of the software I needed, at a ROCK BOTTOM price! Here is a portion of an email from my good friend Gyrations P. Novokuznetsk.

“Corel draw! just at best price You know how it? to work with stable software!”

In soviet Russia, software sell you!

3.) Online Pharmacy – Cialis, Viagra, Oxy Contin, and Vallium at discount prices! Sure they may be sugar pills made is the basement of a Tiajuana worehouse, but they are CHEAP! And no perscription necessary!

4.) This stock is going to be HUGE – It is always under $3 a share now, but buy tomorrow it could be $300. How can anyone resist? Why am I privy to this insider information?

5.) Rags to Riches – This scheme is a classic. It comes in many varieties, but my personal favorite is the nigerian bank guy. He has X number of millions in an account, but he needs someone from out of the country to claim it. You email him back saying you’ll be glad to take those millions of USD off his hands. Then he tells you he needs you to send him a small processing fee first. You send him the money, and to everyone’s surprise, something goes wrong, and he can’t get the money! I sure hope her returns my processing fee…..

Enter the “scam baiters”. The guys at 419 Eater are great. They just screw with these scammers. A couple of times they have convinced the scammer to send THEM money. Here’s a picture they got out of some guy. Is that cheese on his head?

I have developed a plan based on this information. I intend on making some money by selling discount software. I will use that profit to invest in an up and coming stock. Then I will send the money I make to my friends in Nigeria. When they provide me with the millions I was promised, I will go on the biggest discount perscription bender the world has ever seen. Sadly, I will die and only be remembered as the man with the longest penis and largest breasts in history.

Aww crap. I just found out my paypal account has been violated. I better go check it out.

- Doug

I have had so many damn email accounts it is rediculous. My actual accounts that I check on, either with webmail or a POP3 client (Outlook 2K3): yahoo.com, sbcglobbal.net, gmail.com, and zeroaccess.com. On top of that, I have catch-all forwarders to to those accounts set up under: chipshirts.com, blatti.net, matchbooktech.com, and matchbooktechnologies.com. It has been out of control for a long time.

Tim switched everything over to gmail a while back and has been happy, so I did it as well. Ironically, Gmail was probably the service I used the least out of all of them. It is great. I forward everything from every account to gmail, and check one single POP3 with Outlook. Gmail will keep a copy of every message sent to me, that I can always fallback on if I am away from my computer or even if I lose all my email. Right now, I have 2.7 GB of space which will hold an unthinkable amount of email.

If you want a free account (you need to be “invited”) email me or leave me a comment on this thread, and I will send you one.

So Iran like totally broke the seals on their uranium enrichment plant this week, and Bush and Condi were like “we totally saw that”. And then Iran was like, “we just want to enrich our unranium for civilian purposes”. And we were like “We have heard that one before, we know you are going to make some nuclear weapons.” And Iran’s like “OMG we are SO not going to do that”. So Condi is like “Yes you are and I’m telling the UN on you!” And Iran started freaking out and said “if you don’t trust us and try to send over you IAEA inspectors, we are totally not letting them in.” Se we were all like “Fine then, we will impose diplomatic sanctions on you! And Germany is not talking to you anymore either!”