Γειάσου φίλοι, How’s you rash? I know its been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I totally cheesed that I can post at Blatti.net. And now, Blatti.net is changing forever and I feel like I pissed away a fantastic opportunity. Like when you’re partyin’ like a rap star and mackin’ on fine, big booty hoes. You just know your ****’ll be wet by the end of the night, but then you get really hello drunk and pass out on the front lawn. That happened to me one time, and when I woke up all the chicks were out cold or covered in vommit. This kind of reminds me of that.

I’m with you on this surroundedbystupid.com move; I always feel like everywhere I go, when I get there, its filled with stupid people. How the hell did all those gotards know where I was going. Anyway, I thought of a great tagline for the site, “Welcome to the Stupid Nucleus”. Wait… if you go with the butt one, I think this might be better, “The kernel of wit in a bowel of chromosome defects”.

That new logo is soooowheat, bro. It catches your eye like a three-legged dog on Northwest Highway. I can’t wait to start posting over there, unless the waters in lake Weber start rising again and I have to take care of business. Yo Blatti, tell the site administrator to use the left half of that picture for my post header. Ok internet worldians, God speed on your journey to surroundedbystupid.com. If you make over there, we can party like rap stars together. Only this time there is no way I’m passing out on the lawn.

Swayze…

It’s official. Blatti.net is coming down like the Berlin wall. I have been contemplating a change for quite some time. The new website is going to be surroundedbystupid.com. This name comes from the feeling that I get every day when I realize how stupid people are. I (and most of you) are merely small islands of intelligence in a sea of retards. All the blatti.net content, dating back to 2003, will be cleaned of blatti.net references and inserted to surroundedbystupid.com. The layout of the new site will be pretty similar, with most of the changes occuring on the individual post display. I will be integrating tags, and borrowing a lot of design elements from Jen. I am hoping with the new site I will be able to get some more authors and provide more content.

This new interface will work really well with multiple authors. An example post is seen below. I haven’t got the tagline for the new site yet. The one for blatti.net is up top, “Pleasing half of the people, none of the time.” If you want to throw in any suggestions, do so in the comments. Keep your eye open for the new site and I’ll see you there.

Blatti.net has been around for a while, but is it time for a new name? I have been kicking the idea around of bringing this site over to somewhere else, but there’s a problem. What name will be good enough for this superb content? Anyone have any good ideas/themes, or should I just keep it blatti.net?

My primary interest is to get a name where the web extention (.com, .org, etc) becomes part of the name, in the spirit of del.ico.us. Maybe something like “thissiteblo.ws”, “iamnolonger.be”, or “wheremycrack.at”. I could always go with the standard .com or .net too.

Leave your good ideas in the comments. Here is a netsol utility that will tell you if something is available. Who knows - you may be responsible for all this garbage you see before you!

I have been MIA here for a bit because I have been working on Jason’s site, thecraftyasian.com.

It’s all set up now, except for one problem. We need some fortunes for the fortune cookie. When you go to the site, you will see the fortune cookie on the top right. Similar to my SNL random thoughts plugin, the cookie will give you a fortune every time you load the page. All I need now, are some funny fortunes. Leave your ideas in the comments of this post. Good ones will be featured on the site.

Unless you have been holed up in a bunker, you have heard about myspace. It is a free service that allows the user to post info about themself and search for others with similar interests to become friends with/stalk/kill. It has been mentioned in the news a lot lately because dumbass high school students post pictures of themselves drinking, smoking, and/or sleeping with R. Kelly. Then their parents search for them, see the pictures, and bust them.

I finally made a page. It is basically just a plug for blatti.net. Anyone who has an account send me a friend request and I will add you. If you don’t, get prepared to waste at least 8 hours, and sign up here. And Jen, I know you are a minimalist, but you need some content. At least a picture. How about that one where you are wearing your favorite denim skirt and have that pink bow in your hair? You look so cute in that picture!

While working on a new Wordpress Plugin (which will be available soon, BTW) I became an Amazon Associate. Basically, this means that I will reap pennies upon pennies of profit from clicks that end in purchases from amazon.com.

So if you are planning to buy something from amazon anyway, look for it using the search box in the right column over there. It looks something like this:

As far as the yet-to-be-named WP Plugin is concerned, it is a chopped up version of Nick Leeper’s WP iTunes. Combined with iTunesBlogger, the blog author’s recently played itunes can be displayed on their WP blog. Cover art is pulled from the amazon.com database, and clicking the art for each item will open the itunes store on the user’s computer, directing them to the specific song. Pretty Neat.

In my modified version, instead of opening iTunes, a window is opened to the amazon.com page for the album. In the case where the album name is unknown, an amazon search page is opened, searching the music divison of amazon by the artist name. These pages include a refrence to the blog owner’s amazon assoicate id, so they will get credit for the sale. In addition, the price of any known album is pulled form the XML and displayed. It should have a name and a release soon. Any name suggestions?

With my WordPress theme (a bastardized version of Kubrick’s), there is this small area on the top of the sidebar that is empty in several situations. When you are viewing an archive, that area is filled with a message outlining what you are currently viewing. However, when you are on common pages like the main page or looking at a single post, nothing is there but blank space.

I started looking around for something to put in there, and finally settled on using the Deep Thoughts plugin Jen outlined in her post “jappler’s wordpress”. (a great guide to some cool plugins)

I installed and activated the plugin, and called it in the sidebar.php code using an else statement, so that in any situation where there was nothing in that space, there would now be a JH quote. Everything worked great. One problem, I am too impatient to wait 24 hours for a new quote. So I modified the code a little and created my first WordPress plugin.

The Random Thoughts plugin is essentially the same code as the Deep Thoughts Plugin by Valerie Holifield. The difference is, instead of checking the day of the year and displaying the corresponding deep thought, it just displays a random one.

To use the random thoughts plugin…

1.) Download the randomthoughts.zip file

2.) Extract randomthoughts.php and put it in your plugins directory

3.) Activate the plugin in your site admin

4.) Call the function from any page using ‘< ?php randomthoughts(); ?>‘

Enjoy!

I have done several things with blatti.net since my upgrade to wordpress 2.0. A summary:

1.) Old Posts - I have moved all of the pre-wordpress posts into the database, expanding the arhcive section on the sidebar.

2.) New Post Notification - I added this so people don’t have to check the site unless there is something new. Sign yourself up today, or if you are a dork, just use the RSS feed.

3.) Sidebar - In previous version of the site, the sidebar was only available from the main page. It was a horrible design that I never adressed. Now, when you go to any page within the site, the sidebar is always there for your navigational pleasure.

4.) Google Ads - Hosting this site is cheap, but it isn’t free. Help support blatti.net, click some links and buy some stuff.

5.) Header - The header has looked like this for a while now. It was just a temporary one I used so I would at least not be using the default.

In the previous version of the site (2.0), it looked like this.

The webcam was put into the header, and since it was often turned off, my retarded away picture was often up.

I have taken it to the next logical level - completely obnoxious.

I integrated many more pics of my favorite discussion topics into the header. The “watch out for poo” logo remains, but I switched the logo font for a much cleaner look. The webcam also made the cut. The header also incorporates the new blatti.net tag line: “Pleasing half of the people, none of the time.”

You will also notice 3 text boxes at the bottom of the header. The first is a google search. (Yes I get paid for it, so please use it.) The second is a search box for blatti.net. This will search through all the posts in the blatt.net archive, all the way back to its birth on October 27th, 2003. The final box will allow you to sign up for the new post notification I mentioned above. These items will be removed from the sidebar when the new header is implemented.

Keep your eye out for the new header…..coming soon (really)

It has been a long time since I put up any new links, so here you go.

New Links I have nothing to do with:

		WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do? - Lots of celebrity gossip and pics here.
		Hippies Stink - Nothing here yet, but one of my favorite taglines ever. “They make soap but they don’t use it.”. One of Tim’s sites.
		Opie and Anthony - The XM Radio show I am currenly listening to. I rarely tune my radio off XM 202.
		The Bare Minimum - not more. less. One of jen’s sites.
		timfitz.net - Tim’s wordpress blog.

New Links I have something to do with:

		Windy City Poker League - “Lose your mind and all your chips at WindyCityPokerLeague.com”. I made the header logo. Click here for a big-arse version.
		The Crafty Asian - This will be Jason-san’s website when I get off my ass and get it going. I did the logo here as well. Click here for a big version.

If I don’t have your crap linked up, leave a comment.

I know I have been extremely off and on with my posing consistency. If I was coming to my site, I would be sick of coming to find the same posts. Enter the New Post Notification! Sign up below, and every time an entry is posted, you will recieve a courteous and informative email!